Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
