it's not cheating when I paid for it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
