"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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