Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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