I want to walk on stilts...naked
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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