I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize