you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
