96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
