the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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