that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
