Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
