Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
