Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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