I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
