I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
