he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
