you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
