Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
