I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
