So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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