I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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