White coat. Heels.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
