Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just gargled with NyQuil
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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