It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
