best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize