I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
