I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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