If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
