are you still at the devil's house?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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