OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
