Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
