You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
