they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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