Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
