I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
