Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
