I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize