You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
