Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
