I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
handjob tips. give me some.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
