Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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