Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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