fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
