Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
