i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
