wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
