no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
