Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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