NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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