Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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