saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
