five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
