Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
