I bet he comes in French.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Buhtt sex?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
