Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
