drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he laminated a picture of his dick.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
