How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
