there was a trapeze. enough said
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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